Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Power of Praise

Hi Folks!


How was your day? Great? I hope yes. hehe .Mine started very well actually sebab pagi-pagi I was inspired by these gentlemen walaupun ngantuk gila nauzubillah, but I am wise. haha

So, harini nak point out satu benda baru yang aku nak namakan, the "Power of Praise". Praise is one of the positive feedback given by person A to B or to the crowd. Sah-sah korang tahu apa maksud dia kan. Lol. ape lah aku ni. Siapa yang tak suka kena puji kan? but, lupakan segala pujian luaran tu. Apa yang aku nak maksudkan kat sini is, pujian yang melibatkan attitude which pujian tu kau akan dapat bila orang tu dah kenal kau, dah made a conversation dengan kau. Rasa special kan? So, cerita kat bawah is my observation which for me, "satu pujian dah mampu menceriakan hari seseorang". Pernah try?


Today, macam biasa aku naik bas shuttle USM, and kebetulan ada dua lelaki yang baya-baya  senior lecturer lah, sorang foreigner and sorang lagi orang local duduk kerusi depan aku.

Nak dijadikan cerita, as I was crunching my kerepek that I brought from home, they were talking about their research. Fyi, shuttle bus USM ni kebanyakan yang naik adalah student Master n PhD. So aku suspect mungkin diorang ni PhD. candidate.

They talked so loud sampai aku boleh dengar every detail of their experiment methods. Haha .. Then I heard the local guy said,

"I agree, the research you're doing is very fundamental in our industry" dengan nada yang bersungguh and he elaborated. Aku malas nak dengar. Foreigner tu of course la flattered kan. Rasanya la.

But somehow something strikes me at that time. I was thinking, "wow it felt really good doh kalau kena puji macam tu". As a researcher, we make experiments based on theory and other research but at the same time, we are making something that people have not done before. So, basically kita tak tahu apa outcome dia. Jadi atau tidak? So, bila orang appreciate/acknowledge the effort we put on, gila tak bangga?

Well, my point is, in a conversation, satu pujian or praise tadi bagi effect yang sangat mendalam kepada si penerima. Basically, the local man tu dah make someone's day! Inspired by him, I thought maybe I can be like him. I mean, being aware of someone's good work. 

Apa yang buat aku terasa nak tulis ni, aku anggap it is a reminder to my dear self that "It is okay to point out the good things you see in others. You will never know, maybe that conversation will brighten up their gloomy day." 

Spread the positivity!!

p/s: excuse my grammatical error yang bersepah tu. hehe


Monday, March 6, 2017

Life Hacks: Why do you need to love yourself first before you love others?



Hi Folks!




First of all, I am nobody. Just a regular 24 yo girl who loves to read and express her thoughts through writing, a degree holder and a Master in Science candidate. Who am I to tell you what to do?Well, I am a human being with 24 years experience living on earth. HAHA! 

Cut the crap. Aku terasa nak tulis ni sebab aku rasa tak semua orang tahu atau faham concept love yourself. So basically this is all based on my point of view. No reference atau data statistic bagai, mainly my opinion. haha,.

So, semua orang tahu and familiar dengan phrase “Love Yourself” tapi, apa maksud dia? It is self acceptance. Terima kelebihan and kekurangan yang ada dalam diri kita. At some point of your life, kau akan kenal diri kau, perangai kau. Contoh,
“Oh aku tak boleh la kalau orang kritik penampilan aku. Aku rasa down sangat.”
or
“Aku tak suka la lelaki hisap rokok. Turned off betul”

Itu contoh! Basically kau tahu and boleh identify apa yang kau suka and yang kau tak suka. Kau jugak akan tahu kebaikan dan keburukan kau. The more you socialize, more critics you will get. Sebab kau tak boleh nilai diri kau sendiri. Orang sekeliling kau yang menilai baik buruk kau. That is why certain orang tak suka sangat socialize because they fear of rejection. Bagi aku, fear of rejection is the utmost factor manusia ni down, depressed, insecure and apa-apa yang sama waktu dengannya.

Apa tu fear of rejection?

Bagi aku, manusia ni memang sifatnya suka nak tahu apa perception orang terhadap diri dia. Itu normal dan ada juga pro and cons dia. Perception pulak terbahagi kepada dua; negatif & positif. Dua-dua penting sebab that is how we can improve ourself as a human being. Masalahnya kat sini bila kita tak boleh nak control perception orang yang negatif tu. kan?

Timbul lah rasa takut tu. Ada, tapi kita tak tahu sebenarnya kita takut. Contoh,

"Eh, aku pakai baju ni okay ke tak eh? over sangat tak?"

So, fear of rejection tu is when kau takut kalau penampilan kau over, orang akan mengata kau.

Tapi, you can always overcome it. Trust me.

So now, lemme relate fear of rejection dengan “Love Yourself
As I mentioned earlier, bila kau kenal siapa diri kau, tak kisah lah sama ada baik atau buruk, terima atau accept the fact that, “That is you!”. Perangai kau lah yang membuatkan diri kau sebenar. 

Contoh, “Aku ni memang sensitif orangnya. Tengok cerita Trolls, orang lain tak nangis tapi aku nangis. Aku memang hati tisu!”

Terima lah itu sebagai satu kekurangan kau. Maksud aku, don’t hate yourself atas sebab kekurangan yang kau ada. Tapi, tak bermakna kau harus bangga hidup dengan kekurangan/kelemahan yang kau ada tu. Kena ubah! Macamana nak ubah? That part will be on next post. haha! But first of all, terima kelemahan tu. Promise yourself that you will change that or tone it down. Terima segala kekurangan yang kau ada, emotionally and physically.

Kenapa kena terima?

Ni point paling penting. Sebab kita nak overcome fear of rejection tadi tu la.
Lemme emphasize.

As you grow older, makin banyak jenis manusia yang kau akan jumpa. Meeting new people is like reading a new book. You don’t know the details inside the book unless you read it. Sebab tu la adanya proverb “Dont judge a book by its cover” haha. terasa bijak pula aku ni. strike that!

Therefore, there will be one specific time yang orang akan tegur kau, kritik kau and comment tingkah laku kau. Biasanya sikap kau yang negative ni lah. So, ni adalah salah satu form of rejection yang tak banyak orang boleh handle, emotionally. Maka berlakulah putus silaturahim, salah faham, heart broken, pertumpahan darah dan sebagainya. ehh? haha.

What happen when you can finally love yourself?

Kurang overthink! Overthink ni buat otak kita ni serabut sebenarnya especially us, le girls. hehe. Basically kau boleh brush off segala critics atau comment yang negatif yang boleh buat kau down tu dengan senang!

Contoh, kau akan fikir..

“Oh, he didn’t like me because he said that I am too chubby. I know that I am a chubby person and that is not an attractive trait but thats okay. This is me. Dia nak manusia kurus gi la cari orang lain. I don’t need this judgemental person in my life"

Do you get what I mean? You can easily accept that critic without overthink and move on! Yes, you can. 

Increase confidence level! Aku pernah baca one article on how to answer interview questions. Setengah orang, kalau dia pergi interview, dia berlakon jadi orang lain. Sebab dia rasa kalau dia jadi diri dia, dia takkan dapat kerja tu. So a tip that caught my eyes, although kita ada kelemahan punctuality for instance, don't lie. Just say that, "I have time management issue but I promise I will work on that." 

Make sense tak? haha,..That is one of the example la.

To improve ourself! Lepas kita dah belajar untuk terima diri kita, sayang diri kita, baru lah kita boleh try to improve kekurangan dalam diri ni. Banyak? Takpe, slow-slow la,.. no one is perfect. haha

So, thats it. As I mentioned, this is mainly MY OPINION which I made based on reading self improvement books, watching motivational videos by famous influencer. hehe,..

till then, assalamualaikum folks. xoxo